The New York Yankees

No meta-commentary here, just a little rant about the New York Yankees, who in the wake of signing Tex have now spent around 345 billion dollars in the last 2 weeks on 3 players.

And I know, they were just replacing money that was coming off the books, but who gives a shit really.

They'll find a way to blow it again this year.

Nevermind, I just heard Evan Roberts say that signing Tex improves their "clubhouse presence."

No you red-headed idiot, signing Mark Texiera improves their HR, SLG and OBP. He also claims that this move now makes the Yankees "The Team to Beat" in the AL. I've always hated this expression when it is thrown around professional sports. In the last few years we have seen huge amounts of parity in baseball. There have been different WS winners every year for what seems like a decade now (BoSox excluded). And there have been countless feel-good stories about teams who have made the playoffs who don't have high payrolls.
(Bill Plaschke's note: "Said feel-good teams have all done this with hard work, bunting, and eating dinner together every night. Also sharing cabs after the game. And showering together alot.")
I'll use the 2008 Rays as an example because they are fresh in everyone's mind to make my point;which is EVERY team is the team to beat in baseball. The Yankees payroll has consistently been the highest in baseball every year, and they STILL find new and exciting ways to fuck up. I'm sure they will find a way this year. Their lineup, while stacked and nausea-inducing, is really not that much different than what they've been running out there for close to ten years now. So for Mr. Roberts to say emphatically, "NOW THE YANKEES ARE THE TEAM TO BEAT," reeks of nonsense.

So so stupid

On NFL live, they went to Suzy Kolber. She was all bundled up, freezing at Soldier Field in Chicago. She was talking about some stat where under Lovey Smith, the Bears have won 9 straight when the temperature is under 32 degrees F. Despite the fact that is such a non-stat, that's not what is so so stupid. After Suzy was done blabbing her mouth about things no one cares about, she segued into: "Lets go to Michelle Tafoya with a report on the Green Bay Packers." Here's the fucking stupid part. Michelle Tafoya is on the other side of the same freezing fucking cold Soldier Field!!!!! She's doing a report on the team that's playing the team Suzy Kolber was just reporting on, at the same place, 45 yards away!!! Why oh why? Someone enlighten me as to why that was necessary for ESPN to do, why?

It just goes to show...

Your take on Blagojevich-gate i saw this at cnn.com today. Just proving that in all forms of journalism, you just add '-gate' to something and it makes it important.

holy fuck

I swear

If I hear a sportscaster, or a journalist, say or write: "Lets see if he can get it done on the 'Big Stage'." I'm gonna fucking kill someone. There is no such thing. Its playing a sport; as a paid professional. Its not a fucking stage, to break down the literal meaning. Its a fucking sport, its players performing at a high level. No matter what state or stadium or part of the season they are fucking in. Enough!!!!!

Michael......Francesa.......

Today, listening to Mike, in what one of the most exciting days for a Mets fan in recent memory, I can't help but become furious at this guy's insistance that the Mets need to change their lineup.
He is throwing around the words "clutch", and "choke" and "hit in a big spot" around and blaming the Mets failure to get a "clutch hit" in the last week of the season as the reason they missed the playoffs.

He is saying "now you can't use the bullpen as an excuse, and if you bring back this same mess (meaning the Mets lineup) you will have the same thing happen as last year."

Mike, as usual, is wrong.

If J.J. Putz is setting up K-Rod last year the Mets win 100 games, Johan wins 23 games (and the Cy Young) and you can argue they would have hat a great shot at winning the World Series.

You're not going find a better NL lineup, top to bottom, than the one the New York Mets currently have. Maybe the Phillies, but that's about it. Everyone who wasn't a moron told Mike that the idea of trading David Wright was ludicrous, but Mike still thinks the Mets are "gaggers."

I am here to say that the Mets "collapse" as people like to put it, last year, was 100 percent due to the bullpen. 100 fucking percent. It had NOTHING to do with David Wright's dozen or so shitty ABs the last couple of days of the season. To put a microscope on that sample size and to basically question David Wright's "clutchness" as a result of wildly irresponsible and stupid. The ineptitude of the Mets bullpen last year was HISTORIC. If they were even half-competent, the Mets would have had that division locked up by the end of August.

Now Mike is about to bring on Darryl Strawberry from 2-5. That's 3 fucking hours with Strawberry? Why?

I think they forgot a bullet

After covering the breaking news of CC Sabathia signing with the NY Yankees. An awesome ESPN online poll showed on the screen, not the results, but to show the options. On the top of the poll, it said: The Pulse of the Fan. The question: How many games will CC Sabathia win with the Yankees next season?

- 20 or more
- 17 to 19
- 14 to 16
- 10 to 13
- fewer than 10

I don't know where to start with how annoying this all is. First thing I want to say is; wins don't fucking matter!!!! There should be another choice in the poll which states:

- Depends on run support.

Which reminds me of a radio interview on Ed Randall's Talking Baseball with Barry Zito. It was a couple years ago, when Zito was still on the A's. Like 2 seasons after he won the AL Cy Young Award. This is one of Ed's questions, pretty much word for word: "What's been different in the last 2 seasons compared to your Cy Young Award winning season?" Zito is a terrible interviewee, btw. But his answer sums up the question for all the people that think wins are the best metric to judge pitching. Answer: "Run support (laughter)."

And that's not all folks, its run support, its bullpen, there are so many factors that can lower a pitchers wins. This year, the Met's bullpen blew like 327 leads for Johan Santana. I think it was like 9, but I'm at work right now. Think about that?! 9 fucking games!!!! The BBWAA would been sucking Johan's dick into the Cy Young award this year if he had 9 more wins. Nine NDs doesn't affect any other metrics besides Wins. His other numbers aren't affected at all, but its all these fucking ESPN and BBWAA idiots care about.

I'm at work and now I'm furious. More to come...

Cheers

The Fox NFL Drinking Game!

I'm going to watch the NFL on Fox for as long as I can stand it. Everytime Darryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa, or anyone who is paid by Fox says something retarded I will take a hypothetical "shot of Jack Daniels." (Blogger's note: I would normally be happy to conduct this experiment with actual whiskey, but I would be dead within an hour and a half)

Something retarded will include any meaningless cliches' that cannot be proven or disproven, something stupidly obvious, or just something that generally gets on my nerves.

1.)Moose gets my drinking off to a good start with this piece of nonsensical crap:"The Giants are playing with confidence." That is something you will hear every single sports journalist or commentator say about a team that wins alot. I would like to see a professional athlete that doesn't "play with confidence."

2.)Tony Siragusa (Who absolutely fucking steals money from Fox on a week to week basis by the way) just wasted fifteen seconds of my life by babbling something about the Giants being out of sync and "wondering what's going on." I will not transcribe the exact words of Goose's rhetoric, but I will slam down my second "hypothetical shot."

3.)Tony Siragusa just said that the media attention the Giants have had to deal with as a result of being Super Bowl champions and Plax's situation is "coming into play" in today's game because the Eagles are currently winning. That is such a load of horseshit I don't even know where to begin. Plax being a moron and blowing a bullet through his leg has nothing to do with Hixon dropping an 80 yard TD pass that literally hit him in the stomach. He catches that ball, Giants are up 7-3, and Siragusa doesn't make this statement. Either way, Siragusa eats 56 baby back ribs at half time.

4) Goose is really on a fucking roll. Westbrook just ripped off a TD run, and Goose said the
"one thing" Westbrook does is "keep his legs moving." How does this guy continue to collect a paycheck? That's four shots, and I'm feeling real good at the moment.

5) Goose just said "Groundhog's Day." Shot number 5. The Giants just returned a blocked FG for a TD. Guess they are rising above the negative media attention brought on them by Plax.

Suplax

Get it?

Turned on PTI to hear Wilbon defend Plax and get aggravated, but instead there is no Plax at all on the topic boards, and instead of that idiot Wilbon, there is Dan Le Batard, who sucks and hates himself.
Don't know why ESPN is ignoring what is basically the biggest story of the last week, and really don't have a ton to say on the subject that wasn't already said by Juan. So...that's all I got for now.

Plexiglass Burress

I just have one question: How fucking stupid can you be?

I love this shit. Why would anyone ever think what he did was a good idea. "Yeah, my name is Plexiglass Burress, and I'm about to go to this shitty Manhattan night club. I'm gonna be the coolest guy in town if I bring my illegally owned and chamber-loaded automatic .40 caliber Glock." What the other good idea he had was carrying it in his shitty pants, and like I mentioned, it had a fucking bullet in the hole!!!! And the fucking safety was off!!!! So he's 'bumping' around the club, and security lets him in (because he is Plexipiece) gun or no gun. With his loaded handgun in his BVDs, having some cocktails in the VIP section. So I'm assuming he started stroking his Glock, and BLAM, a nice bullet straight through the thigh, GOOD ONE!!! At that point, the best idea is to leave immediately, go to the hospital, give them a fake name, coax them into breaking the law and not reporting a gun-shot wound to the police, and saying you got shot at Applebees. I forgot having one of your friend/teammate try to hide the gun. Fucking brilliant, it couldn't have been done more idiotically. Wanna know what my advice would have been to prevent this? Don't carry a fucking gun around! You don't need a fucking gun, I promise. Especially if you don't have a permit for the state you're located. Jail should be fun, way to blow it.